|
I would like to wish everyone a happy holiday
season and a Happy New Year. To my Christian
readers, a very merry Christmas, which begins
tonight. I hope that you get the presents you
really want, and that buying presents didn't
bankrupt you.
Racism
I am about to embark on what may be my most
ambitious project: providing a solution to the
age-old problem of anti-Semitism. I've been
planning for a while to dedicate a newsletter to
teaching minority groups a more effective
approach to dealing with racism. It occurred to
me, though, that I should not be telling other
groups what to do when my own group needs it
more than anyone. I have the distinction of
belonging to the most hated minority group in
the world. Here in the United States,
anti-Semitism has gone down significantly since
I was a kid, but it is on the rise in Europe and
the rest of the world. Jews need this advice
more than anyone! While I am addressing my
fellow Jews, I hope that others will find this
interesting and relevant to their own groups'
issues as well.
My essay on anti-Semitism will be too long for
one newsletter, so it will be presented in
installments over several issues.
On a personal note: I grew up in the shadow of
the Holocaust. My parents arrived in the USA
from Europe one year before I was born.
Knowledge of the horrific events of World War II
and of my parents' experiences has colored the
way I look at life. I know we humans are capable
of being monsters, and I am rarely surprised by
new examples of man's inhumanity towards his
fellows.
With all of the activity of numerous Jewish
organization fighting anti-Semitism for decades,
one would think that the problem would be gone
by now. Unfortunately, our organizations have to
be as active as ever. Why have we made so little
progress? The United States may be an exception,
but there is more hatred of Jews throughout the
world than ever before in history. Why? There
are certainly numerous reasons, but I suggest
that many of the things Jewish organizations
have done to combat hatred of Jews have
backfired. What I have learned from my seminars
has given me some insight into this mystery. I
will be using my Bullies to Buddies principles
to show why we have been getting results
opposite to what we have expected. Just as I
teach victims how to stop being bullied without
being against bullies, I will teach how to deal
with anti-Semitism without being against
anti-Semites.
Some of my fellow Jews may be outraged and
accuse me of blaming Jews for anti-Semitism. I
want to make it very clear: I do not blame Jews,
just as I don't blame any victims for the crimes
that are committed against them. I honestly
don't believe that anything we Jews have done -
even possible complicity in the killing of Jesus
- justifies the way we have been treated for the
last two thousand years. However, I think the
only way we can ultimately solve our problem is
by changing ourselves, not by forcing the world
to change - as we have been trying to do.
At my seminars, I teach that we are outraged
when others treat us like enemies, but we do not
realize that we ourselves are simultaneously
treating them like enemies. We can't expect
people to treat us like friends when we treat
them like enemies. As a group, too, we Jews have
been so concerned with defending ourselves from
enemies that we haven't realized that at the
same time we have been treating others like
enemies. We will only end anti-Semitism when we
learn to treat the rest of the world like friends.
Read Past Newsletters
|
|
What spurred me to write about anti-Semitism? |
 |
|
Several weeks ago, an article entitled "The
Jews" in the Duke University student newspaper
spurred a tremendous amount of outrage. It was
written by a Black student, Philip Kurian, who
was apparently inspired by a Palestinian
conference at the school. Because of the
protests of Duke's Jewish students as well as
national Jewish organizations, the school
subsequently held a
big "healing" conference to raise sensitivity
and reestablish a feeling of trust on campus.
One of the things that resulted was an apology
from the author of the article.
The author took some truths and half-truths and
wrote an article which I would not consider to
be totally objective. But it is amazing how much
anger and upset the writer generated. The
article itself would probably not have had any
consequences on the well-being of the Jewish
people. But the response to the article was
incredible. I have included a link to the
article, which has links beneath it to a
multitude of readers' responses. By giving so
much power to those who criticize Jews, we are
probably unwittingly encouraging people to
continue speaking out against Jews.
Click here to read the article "The Jews" in the Duke University student newspaper »
|
|
|
"True Victim" versus "Victim Mentality" |
|
|
What is our mistake? We have developed a "victim
mentality." As I teach in my seminars, there is
a difference between a "true victim" and a
person with a "victim mentality." (The victim
mentality is not unusual; in fact most people
have it to some degree and modern society is
unwittingly encouraging it.) The more often you
are victimized, the more likely you are to
develop a victim mentality. And we Jews have
suffered so much violence and discrimination in
our history that it is not surprising that we
have come to think and act like victims.
Unfortunately, the victim mentality becomes a
self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you think and
act like a victim, the more you will be victimized.
True victims get sympathy. However, it is hard
to feel sympathy for people with a victim
mentality. And it is impossible to respect them
because they sound and act like losers. After
the Holocaust, we had the world's sympathy and
the UN gave approval for a Jewish state. We said
"Never Again!" Yet it IS happening again. And
rather than getting the world's sympathy today,
we are reviled no less than we were before World
War II. People love infuriating us by comparing
Israel to Nazi Germany. Most people in the world
actually believe it is our fault when we get
blown up by terrorists.
How can we get sympathy as victims when our
group is the most financially successful in the
world, and we have a country that has become, in
the matter of a few short decades, the most
powerful country in the Middle East?
Why aren't we getting sympathy? Because of the
victim
mentality. Not only ours, but that of the rest
of the world.
One aspect of the victim mentality
is that the weak side in a conflict is
automatically the good one. People tend to have
sympathy for the apparent underdog, and the side
who suffers more in a conflict gets conferred
with the halo of righteousness. Since we -
exemplified by the State of Israel - don't seem
to be weak at this time, it is hard for us to
get sympathy. And I hate to say this, but I
believe we Jews have been a major force in
teaching the victim mentality - which includes
the idea that the weak one is the good one - to
the rest of the world, only to have it used
against us.
For centuries, we Jews have seen
ourselves as a "light
unto the nations," meaning that it is our job to
teach the rest of the world how to live.
Unfortunately, we have been doing an inadequate
job in teaching some of the true lessons of
Judaism, while doing an exemplary job at
teaching other groups to see themselves, like
Jews, as victims, and not to tolerate anyone who
says anything they might find offensive.
For the
last sixty years, we have emphasized the
Holocaust so much - not only to others, but to
ourselves - that Jewish identity has become
almost synonymous with victimhood. Ask most
people in the world what they know factually
about Jews, and there is a good chance that they
will say we were victims of the Holocaust. Our
Holocaust museums have made it their
objective to fight intolerance not only of Jews
but of any ethnic and religious groups. Our
organizations go into
schools teaching everyone about intolerance. And
the students are learning well. I believe we
Jews can
take credit for teaching the public that the
worst thing that can happen to them is to have
someone say something offensive to them.
In coming installments I will be explaining this
further. I will be showing how we Jews have been
violating the Bullies to Buddies rules, and
demonstrating that by using these rules, we can
turn from losers into winners - to the benefit
not only of
ourselves, but everyone else as well.
|
| Quick Links... |
|
|
